Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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