I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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