I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
