he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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