to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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