Whatcha textin bout Willis?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Randomize
