She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
