I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
