Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
