Nicole vs. Life
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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