So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
