god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
