You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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