I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
