Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
