that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
