Plan B is the new Plan A
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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