We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
