The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
