Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize