Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
