Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
