Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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