How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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