Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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