We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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