Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
