The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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