even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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