yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Boobs are out for the taking
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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