Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
