next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize