ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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