He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
