Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
