Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
