"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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