dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have post one night stand depression
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