If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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