Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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