If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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