i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
