if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
