Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize