Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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