I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Fuck me I smell like cheese
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
