You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company