So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
