I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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