i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
