Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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