they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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