whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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