he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
