and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
