I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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