JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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