go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
