if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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