it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
